Month

November 2014

More Things I Hope She Learns

There are a few things I’m guilty of being overly dramatic about. Probably the most ridiculously obvious of these things is being hungry. Even when I’m not eight months pregnant, I’m basically a toddler when I’m hungry. I get cranky and, when I get really hungry, I feel sick. So I know I’m guilty of saying “I’m so hungry I feel like I could throw up.” Sadly, I never really thought about how overly dramatic it sounds until now.

Tonight while climbing in the car my four year old announced out of the blue “I’m going to throw up.” A combination of mommy instinct and observation skills led me to ask, “Are you really going to throw up or are you just hungry?” The reply was, of course, “I’m hungry.”

The car ride that followed was spent in deep discussion of how saying that you’re going to throw up doesn’t necessarily let people know that you’re hungry. It can, in fact, be misleading about what you really mean; thus, it would be better to simply say what you mean.

Which reminded me of one of my favorite things I’ve ever read called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first agreement is to “be impeccable with your word”. In other words, say what you mean, and mean what you say. There are a million ways I try to teach this to my daughter, but to have it broken down into the simplest possible intention is… inspiring. It reminds me that sometimes the most complicated things to teach are actually the simples.

The rest of the agreements share a similar gift of simplicity. The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

(Read more here: http://www.toltecspirit.com)

They are big lessons, presented in simple language. And with all the things there are to teach a child these days, I’m all for borrowing the simplest form whenever possible.

Here Comes the Jump

 

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Phew! Where has time gone? Second trimester came, with its deceiving bursts of energy, just like they said it would. I made meal plans, put the nursery together, brainstormed blog posts and enjoyed the feeling of “having it all together” for the most part. The time came to make a decision about what I was going to do after baby arrives in January.

For the first time in my life, I have the choice to stay home, not just for my 8 weeks of maternity leave, but officially as a “Stay At Home Mom”.  To be honest, I never even expected this to be a choice for me. And even if it ever was, I never expected it to be one I would consider. When my daughter was born, I was overwhelmed. I needed my work and adult interaction. I needed to step away and have some distance each day so I didn’t drown in the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a tiny human.

But the second child is different. I’m older now. I’ve seen how quickly time passes. How the hard stages pass, and the easy stages pass, and no matter what you do everything passes. I used to think of becoming a stay at home mom as signing my life away. Now I see how fleeting these moments and years are. How this is time that I will spend the rest of my life looking back on.

Still, it wasn’t an easy decision. To give up a career I had only just started making my way into, to let go of the sacred spot on the infant waiting list at our first choice daycare. To ultimately make the jump from one “team” to the other in the great debate between working mom and stay at home mom. It takes a lot of letting go to make a decision like this. And letting go is never easy.

But in the end, the decision did feel easy. I have the rest of my life to work, to focus on myself, and only a few short, precious years to focus on these amazing little creatures I’m lucky enough to call my children.

So the decision was made. Time to jump.

You Know Those Days?

You know those days where you it’s cold and you’re exhausted but you still pull yourself out to get groceries and then you forget your grocery list but you rally and you even muster the generosity to let the kid push her own little kiddie cart and then you get two aisles in and she has to pee and has touched all the fruit in the produce section and run into your ankles three times and you realized you forgot almost everything you needed in the aisles you already went through and somehow she managed to sneak a bunch of gatorade into her cart so you just pick out the biggest tub of cookie dough you can find and go check out? Yep… I know those days.