Month

June 2015

Ode to the Bouncy Seat

 
Dear Bouncy Seat-

I don’t think I tell you often enough how much I love you. 

I do. 

Now that my second child is starting to want to sit up out of you, I know it will be time to retire you to your post in the basement. It will be a sad day for me, when you’re no longer a part of our daily routine. But you’ve served us well. 

You held my firstborn while I navigated the new terrain of parenthood. When she had reflux and needed to sit at an incline, you had the perfect touch. The first time she had the stomach flu, you held her upright all night while I slept on the floor beside you. 

Then her sister came along. You cradled my baby while my arms were busy holding her sister. Your music made her smile her biggest smile and reaching for your little animals helped her figure out how to work her precious little fingers. 

You’ve held both my babies while I showered, peed, cooked, cleaned, played, and (rarely) napped. You’ve followed us on vacations, to grandparents house, and to every room in our home. 

I can’t imagine raising a child without you. So here’s to you, bouncy seat, baby snuggler  extraordinaire. You rock. (Actually, you bounce, but you know what I mean.)

June 8, 2015 – Walking Away

 
It was her first day of t-ball. She doesn’t love t-ball. I haven’t figured out if it’s because she actually doesn’t like it or if it’s just new. She told me she didn’t want to go to her game, that she didn’t want to do t-ball. 

I have no idea how to handle these situations as a parent. 

So I took the transparently honest route. I told her that as her mom I wasn’t sure what to do in this situation. Because I didn’t want to make her do something she didn’t like. I wanted her to find the things she does like and do those. But I also wasn’t sure if we had given t-ball enough of a chance to see if we liked it. And I also knew that her team was counting on her. 

She went. She did great. Was she passionately excited about it? No. T-ball might not be her thing. And that’s ok. 

I think it’s important to learn to say no to the things that aren’t your thing. In finding our “thing” in life, we will inevitably try things that don’t work out. And we have to be able to let go of those in order to go on to find the right thing. 

She will finish out the season of course. There’s no shame in walking away from something that isn’t your thing, but how you walk away matters. 

Sometimes we can learn as much from the not finding as we would have from finding. 

Daily Photo – Weekend Photo Attack June 5-7, 2015

   

Boxcar Youth Theatre Camp Program of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  It was a crazy busy week shuffling her from one camp to the next because I had somehow managed to overbook. But she loved it. That’s all that matters. 

  

This week she discovered her feet, birds, and her hands. Is there anything more adorable than a baby grabbing their own feet? No. And watching her hear and see birds for the first time, her whole body shaking with wonder… Was one of those moments in life you never forget. And then watching her swirl her little hands around, opening and closing her fingers right in front of her own eyes…  Raising children is the most incredible experience on earth. 

  

I have little deck planters with tomato and basil plants. And now I have tomatoes and basil. 

  

She drew a bear. This makes me smile. 🙂

  

Starting the day with unicorn pancakes. Is there any other way?

  

My grandpa passed away in April. This begins the process of cleaning out the house and dividing up possessions. I got this quilt that smells like their house. I was smelling it and Lexi asked me what I was doing. She wanted to smell it too and then she wanted a turn to snuggle with it. Part of me wishes that she would get to have memories linked to that smell. Part of me is just grateful she got a chance to smell it at all. 

Daily Photo excuses. Sigh. 

It’s been one of this weeks. First it was one of those “I can’t put down this book so don’t expect me to get anything accomplished” weeks. (Read anything you can reach by Jandy Nelson. You can’t go wrong.)

Then it was one of those “I started crossfit even though everyone who goes there looks like a superhero and I still look pregnant and not just a little bit cute pregnant like frumpy why can’t I lose weight pregnant so now I’m too exhausted to even lifty arms. Seriously. Pumping the soap dispenser to wash my hands hurt” weeks. 

And then it was a “oh crap I am hosting a birthday party in like three days and my house is a disaster because I’ve been having one of those weeks (see above)” weeks. 

And then it became a “I dropped my new iPhone 6 on the cement and it shattered and now it searches for rand things on the internet and calls people I haven’t called in months when I’m not even touching it so now all my pictures are hijacked and my main tool for blogging is shot” weeks. 

So. I’m blogging from an old phone. Only have some of my pictures. And I’m letting myself off the hook when it comes to catching up. So there. 

Daily Photo – May 28, 2015 – “Pedestals”

 
Sooooo, I’m a little behind on daily photos and am catching up today. Most days I know what photo I’m going to use and what I’m going to write, I just…procrastinate. 

I didn’t have a photo or topic in mind for Thursday May 28th. So I scanned back through my photos to jog the memory of the day. There were only two photos from the whole day, which is rare. 

But perfect. Because this was one of them. 

Thursday started off hard. I found myself in a situation where I got zapped by someone else’s humor at my expense. They made a joke in front of a group of peers about a quality of mine that I’m not particularly proud of and that I’m working on changing. Getting put on blast for it caught me off guard and I felt like I had walked into an electric fence. 

I didn’t understand why this person would do that–why publicly shaming someone else would ever be funny. It was easy to feel mad and hurt and betrayed. 

And yet, as I was processing through my hurt, I found grace in the fact that we have all made careless mistakes with our words before. I know what it’s like to hurt someone without meaning to. I have no business holding a grudge when I’m just as guilty. I’m no better than her or anyone else. 

That evening I hung out with my cherished group of women, my people, my “club”. I adore these women with all my heart. They are the safe harbor in the storm. I hold each one of them up on a pedestal because that’s where they belong. They are incredible human beings. 

But then again, aren’t we all? Just as I am no better than anyone else at their worst, I am also no worse than anyone else at their best. I am deeply human. I try. And I care. I matter. Just like everyone else. We all deserve our own little pedestal made of grace and forgiveness and love. 

My people, they are always there if I need them. They forgive me in my ungracious moments and they accept me flaws and all. 

And in doing so they have shown me how to do the same for others. 

That morning, reeling from the shock of unexpected hurt, I told myself that this place, this relationship, was an unhealthy place to be. I didn’t need to spend time around people who hurt me. I was done. 

But the truth is, I’ve been through enough in this lifetime to know that the solution to being hurt isn’t always leaving. Sometimes the solution is staying. 

Because my friend didn’t mean to hurt me. People don’t deserve any less grace, any less love, because they are human and flawed and messy. In fact, perhaps they deserve more because of it. 

I’m beyond blessed to have those friends that assume the best, that stand up for me and always have my back. But the real blessing is having those people who teach you how to do that for others. To offer grace rather than hold a grudge. To believe the best.

To not run away just because it’s messy, but instead to offer a hand and help someone back up on their pedestal. 

Daily Photo – May 27, 2015 “Moving Pieces of People”

 
We have reached the stage where they don’t stay where you put them. 

Yesterday was my parents’ 36th anniversary.  

These two things may seem unrelated, but they’re not. Because, in marriage, people don’t stay where you left them. They’re constantly growing and changing. Marriage is moving pieces. It’s paying attention to how your pieces move in relationship to the other’s. It’s supporting someone else’s movement. 

It’s saying, “I know you won’t stay where I last saw you, and that’s ok. I’ll keep coming back to wherever you are.”