A Brief Summary of a Wednesday

This morning while feeding the toddler, my eyes wandered mindlessly around the room until finally coming to rest on the corner between my China hutch and the wall. Tucked haphazardly into the small space was a pile of dirty pajamas that I recognized from earlier in the week, at which point they had been laying in the middle of the kitchen floor. Until I asked her to please take them to her hamper. Which I assumed she had done. Since they had vanished. 

Apparently I had assumed incorrectly. 

Me: Lexi. Why are there pajamas shoved in the corner?

Lexi: I don’t know. 

Me: What do you mean you don’t know? Didn’t you put them there? Didn’t I ask you to take them to your hamper? Why would you put them here?


Me: (blank stare)

Later that day….

Lexi: Mom? How far down your throat does your tongue go? Does it go…like…to your privates?

Me: (blank stare)

Baby Magic

By some kind of infant magic/witchcraft, this baby stuck her pacifier in my hair where it is now STUCK. Like, very stuck. #momlife #problemsyouneverexpectedtohaveever

Daily Photo – April 2, 2015


I love these girls. 

Also… I want chickens. 

Why? I have no idea. There’s no way I could butcher a chicken. I probably will not be excited to clean up their shit. And if my dog doesn’t eat them… well, our hermit crabs didn’t survive so chickens seem… I don’t even know. 

But I still want them.



ok. I’m sorry to be the person who posts this. I know that all little babies look like boys. 

But when a baby is dressed ENTIRELY IN PINK and sitting in a PINK CARSEAT surrounded by PINK BLANKETS and you’re still like, “What a cute little boy!”


Even the student doctor came in the other day and was all like, “ah is this your baby brother?” and my four year old literally said, “uh, she is wearing pink.”

Don’t get me wrong. Boys can wear pink and shit. But shouldn’t you, as a doctor, look at the chart and know whether you are examining a male or female before you walk in the room?

C’mon, people.