I took two history classes this summer. The goal is to get my Master’s degree. The bigger goal is to keep learning. To keep doing my best to stay informed.
It’s not easy. I spent the majority of the weekend studying, trying to wrap up this class before we go on vacation so I can be done with it and relax. I study hanging out in the family room while the kiddos play, but it still means my husband picks up my extra slack with meals and dishes and laundry and bedtimes so I can get this done. When that happens, I feel guilty. Guilty that he is working overtime to support me chasing this unnecessary goal. Guilty that I’m being selfish in studying and pursuing my own endeavors instead of devoting the weekend to my family.
But I know better. My husband is incredible, and he is proud to support me. And someday down the road, this hard work will probably pay off to mean a job that fulfills me AND works with our family schedule. And it’s good for my kids to see me working on something. To see me valuing learning enough to make space for it.
And it’s good for me. To do something for me. To grow myself. I look around and I see everything always changing and moving. Things are always either growing or falling apart. It’s up to me to decide which one of those applies to me.