(Oh I’m sorry, would a photo have made this post more appealing? Probably. But I didn’t even think to grab the camera when I found the (spoiler alert!) urine that was not in the toilet where I assumed it was. How selfish of me. I’ll do better next time. Can we move on to the story now? Super.)
Giving the four year old a bath at grandma’s house. Look down and notice the floor near the toilet (which is near the tub) is wet. Immediately assume the usual tsunami has happened when I left the room to get soap.
Me – “Oh darn it, Lexi! The floor is all wet.”
Lexi – (continues playing quietly without making eye contact)
I continue to “track” the boundaries of the water to see how great the damage is. The puddle touches the bottom of the toilet but doesn’t seem to be connected to the bathtub. I furrow my brow and begin to logically piece together the possibilities. I look around the edge of the base of the toilet for a potential leak, but there doesn’t appear to be one.
Just then, right at eye level in the midst of my scrutinizing, I notice splatters of “water” down the front of the toilet as well.
Wait. Does this “water” look just a little bit yellow to you?
No… It can’t be…
“Lexi?” I tentatively ask. “Could this be pee?”
Lexi: “Proooobabaly.” she drawls matter-of-factly, still playing.
Me: (blank stare) “What do you mean ‘probably’?”
Lexi – “It’s probably pee.”
Me – (more blank staring) “How…?”
Lexi – (continues playing cheerfully) “I don’t know I just peed and then it splattered everywhere.”
Me – (yes…MORE blank stare)
(The rest of the story is basically me lecturing a four year old not to pee everywhere and then not tell anyone she peed everywhere while she continues to play cheerfully and I Clorox the bathroom.)
The moral of the story here, friends, is that you can’t assume little people are born knowing it’s not ok to pee everywhere. And that kids are curious and like to test the limits of the toilet bowl. And they are also vague about the results of their experiments. And also you shouldn’t assume it’s water. Because it’s probably pee.