I’m playing the pregnancy hormone/exhaustion card a lot lately.
And I’m about to play it again.
The oldest has been going to camp at the museum every morning this week, so we have been loading up in the car every morning and then killing just over an hour before we have to head back to get her. The toddler is fighting a cold and is confused about the nap/lunch schedule change up so that just adds a little more weight to task of hauling her around all morning.
Hence, I feel like I’m maxed out a lot of mornings from the task of bucking car seats eight times before lunch alone. (Again with the pregnancy exhaustion card.) So I’m not often in the mood to say “yes” to more.
And my oldest likes to ask for more. She’s not demanding or anything–she’s just adventurous. She sees an opportunity and she wants to take it. Some things are bigger things–trips to the water park, etc. So a “no” is often necessary.
But some things are little things. All week long after camp she has wanted to throw coins in the fountain out front or have her picture taken. And all week I haven’t been carrying my phone or purse in and out. So it’s been “no”.
Today it was sprinkling when we headed to the museum. She wanted to take her umbrella. She brought it in the car, but when we went to get out, I took it and set it on the floor.
“It’s not raining that hard and we need to hurry. Plus you can’t keep it in camp.” I said dismissively. She didn’t complain. She rarely does.
Maybe that’s why it struck me when I got back to the car after dropping her off. Why didn’t I just let her take the umbrella? I could have carried it right back out. It wouldn’t have been a big deal at all and it probably would have made her day just to use her umbrella for a little while.
But I said no. When it would have been just as easy to say yes.
Sigh.
Parenting moments like this kind of suck, you guys. I can’t go back and change all the moments when I should have just said yes. It’s really easy to fall into the pattern of saying “no” to the little stuff. But I don’t want that to be our pattern. I don’t want that to be my pattern.
Because those little yes moments add up to big memories.
And because, in this situation, I don’t want her to become like me, patterned by “no’s”. I want to be more like her. I want to see the little opportunities in my day for magic. Like umbrellas in the rain. And tossing coins into fountains.
So when we picked her up from camp I brought her umbrella and a handful of coins. I can’t change the no’s from this morning but I can let them be my reminders to keep looking for opportunities to say yes.